the BIG WHY?

Have you ever scrolled across Kylie Jenner’s Instagram feed and somehow wound up mentally scheduling yourself in for lip fillers? 

That feeling – the strange, overwhelming longing to look like the siren behind the screen – that’s kind of how the BIG BAD was born. 

To be clear, it wasn’t my sudden urge for a bodacious bottom that inspired me. It was, ironically, the magnetic power of Instagram.

I first got the ‘gram in 2016, which is way late in the game by millennial standards. I had just finished a trip through Western Europe, and my inner control freak thought it made perfect sense to document my journey in the aftermath, with the experience freshly in my rear-view mirror. The whole concept of instant ‘gramming’ eluded me. 

Fast forward to the point where I realized I could spend countless hours scrolling through the Explore page. I know I’m not alone in feeling like my phone became an extension of my arm. Instagram became an endless sequence of toned, tanned bodies as I followed celebrities, luxury brands, and even friends who were somehow both genetically and financially blessed. Yet, in all that mess of money magic, you know what I didn’t find? 

Me.

I didn’t see me anywhere. 

Didn’t see my acne, my belly rolls, my anxiety. 

Didn’t see my luminosity, my empathy, my values. 

What’s more, I didn’t see blackness, queerness, indigenousness or any signs of existence other than white, cis, abled bodies.

I was unwittingly sipping more of the Kool-Aid I already found in magazines, malls, and billboards from Melbourne to Panama. What was the point? At best, I was indifferent to the content. At worst, it made me feel a longing for things that were likely never going to be mine – yachts and thousand dollar bikinis.

But then something happened. A gorgeous encounter with an even more beautiful woman – an eye-opening step into the world of plus size fashion – a leap into discussions of body positivity. Falling down a rabbit hole, right side up.

I stocked up on these new inspirations as fast as my fingers could type. The Slumflower, Simone Mariposa, Body Posi Panda, FLEXMAMI – these were just a few of my new pin-up women. They didn’t make me feel like I had to imitate them. They didn’t make me feel like I had to be anyone but myself.

It was a shot of adrenaline in the sleepy world of ‘never being good enough’. Realizing that I could participate in the world today, as I am, and not five or ten or fifteen kilos from now: that’s how the BIG BAD was born.

The BIG BAD wants to be the caffeine in your morning scroll. It wants you to read our blog posts while nodding vigorously, and laugh-crying during your commute. It wants to show you bodies like yours while you hug the body that’s yours, and only yours. 

It wants you to come to the bonfire – we’re lighting up diet culture and roasting marshmallows in the flames.

No fillers necessary.

 
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